How about a change?

They say you get to see the true face of people through the situations of life, whether the face you’ve been seeing is the true one or not, the only one or not or even if all you’re seeing is the reflection of yourself! I don’t know, I won’t try and put the words into tacky expressions and all but why does it seem so hard to hope that there’s someone good out there? Someone who’s not double or triple faced, we all care about our own interest of course and sometimes we just have to make a choice. At times the choices and actions are understandable so you won’t be hurting anyone or hiding matters from those closest to you, but there are also times when some people just make you feel so stupid for ever falling into the trap that they are kind. I mean, they are kind, at times, yet they do certain things or ask you certain questions that make you feel as if they were using you. I would’ve said the person asked is the one with a problem but if this only happens with a few people whom you supposedly confide in, then it’s not entirely your fault!

You see, others no matter who they are can think of their own interest as much as they want, they can “choose” to be kind to you whenever they want and they can also think of using you to get anything whenever they feel like it, but it’s also up to you to stand up for yourself. Being a good person doesn’t mean you have to be naive nor does it mean you have to be lame or self-centered! It’s a choice you make for yourself, to do something good because it lifts up your spirits or brightens your day, it has nothing to do with people! The tricky part is that such doings from your friends can actually kill your feelings, literally! At times I don’t know how to feel about some friends because all they’ve been doing lately is clearly expose themselves trying to use me to get to something, it’s hard to keep your feelings straight when they keep doing that. When to show compassion, sorrow, joy, sympathy or anger all becomes one snowball entangled inside of you!

And since, I’ve had enough for the time being, having a sixth sense to know when people are trying to use me, I’ve decided no more! I won’t turn into an evil backbiting monster, I will merely switch off the “I care” button again and change. It might seem like it’s my mistake for playing along with people I consider best friends, and they might think that I’m making a big deal out of things though either ways I don’t care. I’m being a good person because I choose to, so until people learn to actually appreciate what they have and perhaps let me in on their ulterior motives, I don’t give a bit whether they like how I’ll change or not! They’ve called for it!

-A

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