I believe there are only two types of incidents which might cause people to lose sense of the past. It’s either you suffered from some sort of a health crisis that led you to losing your memories of the passed time or you’re getting old and the details of time started dripping from your memory. Both are actually examples that deserve sheer admiration, they are proof of fighting against the taking of the details of your life even if at the end you still couldn’t remember your old days!
Out of remembrance comes nostalgia, I mean who doesn’t dabble into the pool of the past every now and then and secretly smile about the good days or wince over the ones you tried hard to forget and failed horridly? Who doesn’t do that? On the other hand, it’s one thing to remember the past and a completely different issue that it doesn’t stir any sort of emotions inside you, not even those days you died of laughter and your stomach hurt because you couldn’t take a breath!
You can always fake that smile about the past in front of people, or join them in silence as they remember an unfortunate event, people will buy it but what about your heart? I mean, does this mean you’re dead inside? Have you washed your hands of your previous decisions and stripped your memories of their belonging to you? If this is about the bad choices and the crappy times, what about the good ones? The ones that used to bring tears to your eyes because you thought you’d never get to experience better memories!
Can it be about merely trying to make peace with who you once were and the person you are now whom you still don’t recognize?
What can it possibly be that is so invisible, so irritating and inevitable that you can’t escape to numb all your senses against your past?
Or can it be the transition between holding onto time when time only seems to be scratching against your humanity trying to destroy it? Can it be about teaching you how to let go and make amends with yourself?
Is it in some unfathomable way, a lesson of forgiveness in disguise?